Really, DO I Have To?
by: Leslie D. Register
I Have To go to work today. I Have To make cupcakes for the class bake sale. I Have To get my oil changed. I Have To wait at the DMV for a license renewal. I HAVE TO….
Really, do we have to? Showing up for daily life activities is a choice. At any time, you can change your choice, or you can change your outlook.
I learned through my journey of recovery to reshape my outlook and say, “I Get to” do life. I get to show up, make choices and carry through with the journey.
Check out these four (4) insights on how to Get To do life:
Quiet time– If you want to shut out the world noise and renew your mind and spirit, find time for quiet. Establishing a ‘break time’ in your day is vital to creating and maintaining mental wellness. I prefer to start my day with reflection, reading and prayer. You may prefer a mid-day walk or visit to the office meditation room. Others are “night owls’ and like to read by candlelight. Whatever your routine is, if you want quiet time, you will find it.
But First Coffee- No emails or ‘to do’ list checking before coffee. Let’s be real! If you are a coffee drinker like me your mental and emotional faculties are not functioning before the 1st sometimes the 2nd cup of coffee. I know this may feel like I just asked you to give up your security blanket but looking at your emails or ‘to do’ list before you have set positive intentions for the day, can simply crush your outlook. Start your morning with listening to a fun podcast, reading something meaningful, watching the sunrise, make breakfast for your family are all better options than starting your day with the email.
Get into Action– It is amazing how movement changes us. Did you know that doing service work…aka giving back improves your self-esteem, purpose, social skills and even fun? Read more in this article:Why Volunteering is Important In addition, exercise benefits our physical, mental, and emotional wellness. Physical activity supports better sleep, decreases anxiety, stress, and promotes overall mental health. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/p/physical-activity-and-mental-health in our desire to change our outlook on the choices we ‘get to’ make, being active stimulates positive thoughts and actions. So, Rise up and Move!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff! – Let go of what you can’t control. The car line to pick up a child from school is going to be long…bring a book. The office copier is going to break down, so find an alternative location to make your copy or scan your document. The phone call and email you are anxiously awaiting is never going to arrive while you are looking at your computer. Take a walk! The three (3) best lessons I have learned are:
1)Pause
2)wait 24 hours to deal with stressful situation
3)simply accept that life doesn’t always go my way.
If I want a spirit of wellness, joy, and freedom I must make the choice how I want to respond to the uncertainties of life. This is not always perfect, and sometimes feels messy. “Be messy, complicated and afraid, show up anyway” ~ Glennon Doyle
Take Action
Next time you feel the heaviness of the day, the stress of the responsibilities and the overwhelming need to say “I have To” go ahead and feel that feeling! It is important to feel our feelings and allow them to have time and space. After the feeling begins to ease, or to help is ease, consider the insights shared. You will be amazed how quickly you begin to say “I Get To” do this life!